Pressing Onward

Well, we have hit June so now I can say the baby is due next month - thank goodness! Pregnancy is much more difficult when you already have a kid to take care of. I feel bad for Morgan as she is stuck with me every day, all day. As my discomfort increases (which it has recently reached an all-time high in the pregnancy since I now struggle to shift positions or walk without pain) I get more short-tempered and lose patience far easier than an 18-month old probably deserves - of course it doesn't help that she is teething at the same time! So as she and I struggle to find our moments of compassion for one another and in between hugs of mutual tears I made a sandbox... sort of.

I was under the impression that getting sand for a sandbox would be quite simple, however... some manufacturers have strange ideas about what kind of sand is "play sand". I had to return several bags that were more gravel-like than sandbox sand should be. I searched all over websites online but finally found success at Lowe's with a very friendly gentleman that vouched for this kind - paver's sand. Apparently he used this same kind for his grandkids and I must admit that I am very pleased. Morgan and I spent quite some time today playing in it. 

 This is another toy I came across in my hunt for things we can do outside. Morgan LOVES it. She goes up the steps and down the slide, up the steps and down the slide... continuously. Then she crawls back in the sand, plays for a while before returning to "up the steps and down the slide". Once again, I am very pleased.

David is now able to work a full 40 hours each week since school is on hold for the summer, which is a blessing since we have to catch up from the savings setback from buying our car. However, it does leave a lot of time with just me and Morgan (no wonder Morgan gets so excited to see David when he gets home, she's tired of me!). Currently he is TDing (Technical Director) the comedy show Common Room that will beginning airing in October, but shortly preparation for Mission Conference at the MTC will ensue so much of his time will most likely be spent there.

All-in-all things are well. Morgan is healthy, Eli is healthy, David is busy, and I am tired.

The End.

Spring is Here

O Remember, Remember

I loved this video and wanted to share its message.

Silly Morgan

I made these frozen yogurt drops and Morgan was OBSESSED with them. She cried anytime I put them back in the freezer because they were melting. So eventually I just gave her the container with a spoon because they were so soft from being out too long.

Morgan loves to chill in the pillows when I make the bed in the mornings.

After her bath she likes to run around with her towel as a cape. I chose this picture though because it is the best one I have of her facial expression - this isn't as distinctive as it usually is but she makes the face all the time.

When day Morgan got her nap a little later - I think we were at the park or something - so she was zonked when we laid her down with a bottle of water. I went in to get her (we had to go somewhere) and she had fallen asleep with the bottle still in her hands/mouth. Too cute!

Oh BOY!

It's official. We are having a boy. Almost 4 weeks ago we went in for the first ultrasound and it was confirmed that this thing growing inside me is indeed a baby boy. Most know we wanted another girl, simply because Morgan and the baby will be so close in age and we already are decked out with girl stuff, but by no means is a boy disappointing. We went in for the ultrasound and they were checking placement of everything before getting into the measurements when David noticed something. He immediately turned to me and whispered "I think it's a boy!" I just kinda paused like "what?! no, it's gotta be a girl." Then the technician proceeded to check everything and it was such a relief to hear how healthy he is. Each time I saw 2 legs or 2 arms I sighed with gratitude. I had been panicked up to that moment that something was wrong and to see him doing so well was beyond exciting. I have a baby boy; a beautiful, healthy, active baby boy and I am stoked! It was so fun to watch him squirming while the tech was measuring. He might very well end up being more of a hand-full than Morgan but oh my how I am excited! He is super active these days, sometimes it's distracting when I'm going to sleep at night and when I'm waking up in the morning. It is a lot of fun though and I'm anxious for the next 16 weeks to pass so we can hold him.

Dear Diary

I don't really keep a journal (even though I know how much I should), I don't have many friends, and I hate talking on the phone; but today I need to relieve myself.

My energy level has been near empty all day and my stretching belly is making it painful to stand upright, but in desperate hopes to pass the time I played with Morgan in her room while sorting baby's clothes and reorganizing where things go. At last the time came to feed Morgan lunch and put her down for yet another attempt at a nap (she wouldn't go down for her first).

My anxiety level is through the roof as the idea of the unknown fills my body with such immense fear. I feel as though my most passionate dreams are at risk on a sinking boat with the shoreline just out of reach. Oh how much I wish I could do better - have more courage to save them. My desperate attempts to salvage what remains seems almost in vain as I ultimately have no control. In just a few short months I bring another one of Heavenly Father's children into this world and am petrified that our home does even compare to the majestic place he is coming from. At church yesterday we were reading from 2 Nephi 28 and the last verse the Lord says "I will be merciful unto them... if they will repent, and come unto me; for mine arm is lengthened out all the day long". I pictured Him standing there with His arms opened, waiting; just waiting for us to go to Him and fully embrace. I think of all the times I have longed for a hug but am turned down for a computer, toy, or just lack of presence; my heart melts to think that He keeps His arms fully open, never giving up. Why can I not be like that? Why can I not trust that all will work out and the promises I have been given will be met? Why can I not have that hope and endless love that strengthens my arms to keep them lengthened all the day long?

I can't give up. Life seems so hard and too often I find myself thinking, why us? why me? I was reading today in D&C 58 where the Lord says "For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand." Hardly ever do I feel strong enough to handle this burden, but I know he is worth fighting for, they are worth fighting for. I won't give up.

eternally fighting,

carrie

Our Girly Girl

Playing with the Beauty Salon we got from freecycle

Holding my phone, she is putting her keys (a gift from Aunt Rachel) into her purse

Chasing after me because I had the camera